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Peach Party Liquor

The name is inspired by the show Squidbillies on Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim. I recently became a Squidbillies cast member, playing myself. The show is hilarious. It’s not for everyone, but I love how it explores the idea of these ultra-redneck characters that are, absurdly, squids. One of the characters, Early Cuyler, makes something he calls “party liquor.” One weekend when the cooks at Woodfire Grill were getting together on Sunday for some fun, I said, jokingly, that I would bring some “party liquor.” And it would include moonshine. “You can’t bring moonshine,” they said. “We’ll all go blind!” I wanted to show them it wasn’t so bad, so I mixed the moonshine with really strong tea and juiced peaches. It tasted like Snapple peach tea and you could barely detect the moonshine. It was so good that we drank all of it. We got to goofing around and thought it would be fun to have a dart tournament. Someone had brought a blow dart gun. Before long, one of us had a brilliant idea and asked, “What if we shot someone with one of these?” That soon digressed into a series of retaliatory dart wounds. That’s when I knew it was time for me to go. Just as my wife, Valerie, and I were walking out the door, I felt this pain in the back of my leg. I craned around, and there was a blow dart sticking out of my calf.

 

Gets 4 sensible people pretty lit up, or 1 somebody who’s gonna be hurtin’ for certain

 

Water

2 cups

 

Black tea bags

4

 

Agave nectar

½ cup

 

Peaches

8 ripe baseball-size ones, pitted and peeled

 

Moonshine

2 cups

 

Lemon juice

¼ cup

 

  1. Bring the water to a boil in a medium nonreactive saucepan. Add the tea bags, and steep the tea in the hot water for about 30 minutes; you want to end up with very strong tea. Add the agave nectar to the tea and stir until blended. Cool the tea to room temperature.
  2. Using a juicer, food processor, or heavy-duty blender, puree the peaches until they are completely smooth. Pour into the pan of tea along with the moonshine and lemon juice, stirring to blend. Strain the mixture through a fine-mesh strainer and discard the solids. Cover, chill, and serve ice-cold. Moonshine / White lightning or moonshine refers to any illegally distilled, unaged white whiskey made in an unregulated still at home. But you can find perfectly legal white whiskey called moonshine in just about every liquor store across the country. Any corn-based liquor will do just fine in this recipe. If you can’t find white whiskey, 80-proof Cathead Vodka from Mississippi is finished with corn and makes a great substitute.